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GROUND RULE #1 IN MARRIAGE IS…
When Scott and I met nearly 25 years ago on Easter Sunday 1989, I never expected that I was meeting the man I was going to marry. What’s cool is that I have pictures of my friends and me the night before at a free outdoor Mike and the Mechanics concert. I have pictures of that very morning with my parents. Two short weeks after our first meeting, we went on our first date. Five weeks after that, we were engaged. Seven months later, nine days before Christmas, we were married. I never did get those people that dated ad nauseam. Either make a commitment or move on.
We talked a lot in the first months of our relationship. We had to determine our likes and dislikes, our dreams for our futures, whether we wanted children, our religious beliefs, and the list went on. We decided from day one that the first ground rule of our marriage was that “Divorce is not an option”. I think many couples rush into living together and forget about setting rules in their relationship. They settle for playing house with another person. They might decide that being in an exclusive relationship is the rule, but they forget that they deserve to have a exclusive married relationship thinking that a piece of paper won’t make anything any better. God had marriage in mind in Genesis 2:22-24:
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
From the beginning of time, God’s desire for a happy relationship between one man and one woman was for marriage. This is God’s ideal for every man and woman. It’s so important that it’s repeated in Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9. Hebrews 13:4 is very specific about God’s feelings about marriage:
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.
God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
We have just completed our 24th year of marriage and we’re entering into our 25th year together. It hasn’t all been hunky-dory, but we’ve had a lot more good days than bad. We spent a little time in couples counseling. It made our communication much more effective. Do we disagree? Yeah, sometimes. All-in-all, I can tell you that there’s no other man that I would ever want to be with than my husband. He gets me (mostly) and he’s my best friend. I know that he’s not going to walk out the door. I know he’s going to remain faithful to our marriage vows. He’s a man who appreciates words and the words he spoke to me just over 24 years ago in our vows are words that he takes very seriously.
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club, wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy and read some free chapters here.